Out of everyone
by BrokenPoet12
Summary: "You have nothing to worry about Caitlin. I think out of everyone, you're the only one who wasn't actually affected when I messed up the timeline"


AU. I have not seen Flashpoint but I have seen clips and I have a rough idea of what happens. I'm trying to avoid too many spoilers before it's on Netflix. Forgive the liberties I'm taking. Also, spoiler warning...

Disclaimer: Not mine

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 _"You have nothing to worry about Caitlin. I think out of everyone, you're the only one who wasn't actually affected when I messed up the timeline"_

She wants to slap the arrogant smile off of Barry Allen's face when he turns to leave. Cracking jokes about something that has irreversibly changed so many people's lives as if it is nothing more than fate. As if it was inevitable. Although, given what she'd heard about Earth-2, perhaps it was. She is still angry at him. But she understand the pain that fueled his decisions to go back and change everything. As the cold has been creeping up on her slowly, she finds herself wondering if she wouldn't have done the same exact thing.

She buried her fiance. Twice. The first time in an empty casket. while she was standing beside a grave that was the only symbol she had left beside the ring on her finger and the empty bed she returned to every night. The second time there was no casket, but he was just as gone and she knew that it was permanent. She grieved; mourning the man he had been, the friend she had lost, and the love she was not sure she would ever feel again.

Somewhere in the midst of all of that, she'd been betrayed by a man who had guided and shaped her career into a dream come true. Research, grants, breakthroughs, and a cutting edge project that was years ahead of its time. It was all so good. So was Harrison Wells. He was a hurricane and she let herself get swept up in all of his ideas and plans. And lies. She was seduced by the power and impact of his particle accelerator, by the promises of accolades and never-ending publications. And, if she was being honest, he'd seduced her as well.

Oh, nothing ever came of it, but she was young and still a bit naive. He was attractive, intelligent, and charming. She couldn't help her attraction to the man who would be known as one of the greatest scientific minds in history, before being reviled as one of the most reckless and dangerous minds on the planet. She'd wanted to please and impress him like no other, not even Ronnie. Wells, or Eobard, must have realized this because he cultivated her regard for him relentlessly. Where he would be harsh with the other researches, he was soft with her. If she had an idea, he was attentive and shared her enthusiasm. If he had criticism for any of her work, it was gentle but firm. She'd seen him lay waste to several research assistants who'd ended up running from the lab or not returning the next day. Caitlin Snow worked hard for his praise and for her place on the team. And he'd manipulated her perfectly.

The day Ronnie died for a second time, vanished into the singularity above Central City was the day Caitlin always thought of as when she lost two of the most important people in her life. She had loved Ronnie very much, been in love in the way youth and ambition allow two people to be fiercely connected. But she had also come to love the Harrison Wells she had known. Even after finding out that he was an imposter, she could never bring herself to fully hate the man. After all he had helped her get Ronnie back briefly and he'd saved her life, even when he could have let her die. Surely she couldn't have had _that_ important an impact on Eobard Thawne's future that he needed to keep her alive. So she was grateful.

But it was still so hard to go on and for a long time she isolated herself. S.T.A.R. Labs was too much, too soon. There was just too much history, so she left. But it didn't last for long. Barry and Cisco needed her. It was a nice feeling after feeling nothing but grief.

She'd resumed her work with Cisco to help Barry fight crime and was content for the first time in months. And then everything changed again. A stranger claiming to be from another Earth showed up out of nowhere. And then so did Harrison Wells. Everything changed after that and she was along for the ride. The work they were doing allowed her to step away from her grief and start to focus and live again. She started catching Jay watching her, and found herself watching him back. It left her hot and cold and mostly scared.

Harrison was a bit more complicated. He had the right face, but she had a hard time reconciling the new version of him to the man she had known for years(or didn't really know at all). But out of all the members of Team Flash, she connected with him the most. Finding out about his daughter and the destruction Zoom was capable of causing put him in a new light. She would do anything to protect her loved ones after all. His reasons were right even if his methods were wrong. He kept her at arms length though and she found herself being pulled into Jay's arms instead. It was alright. She could live with that.

Then Harrison saved her from a giant gorilla dressed as the Reverse Flash and Jay was dead right in front of her. Everything had to be taken from her. Caitlin Snow was beginning to wonder if she was cursed. Maybe the particle accelerator really did affect her and this was her new power. Everything she ever loved was going to die.

If only she'd know how much worse it could get.

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She watches Barry walk out of the Cortex as if everything is right in the world. She is alone. And afraid. The cold is back in her hand and there are tears stinging her eye. This is not what she wanted. Cisco has finally broken down and told her about her Earth-2 doppelganger. Then Caitlin had met the bitch.

She'd been cold after Jay's 'death', broken by his betrayal, and lost when she couldn't make him stop. But she never let it beat her. She'd been more worried about Barry who had lost so much. And about Cisco who was struggling with his new powers. Even Harrison struggled. If she could take care of everyone else, then everything was going to be okay. She was going to be fine. They would all get through this.

But then Barry changed time and she changed right along with it. The idea that she will never have a choice about her own life because of someone else if infuriating. It sends hot tears rolling down her cheeks and she bites back a sob as her body folds in on itself. Before she realizes it, she has slid from the desk and onto the floor. She cannot stop crying. She is afraid. Caitlin Snow does not want to become a monster, but how could she be anything else? She has been strong for so long that there is nothing left in her, so she cries curled up against a desk. She feels the cold inside of her and she hates it. Hates Barry for taking away her say in the matter of what she will become. Hates Eobard Thawne and Harrison Wells (the original) for ever convincing her she could be an asset to their doomed project. Everything about her life is a curse.

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Harrison Wells hears her sobbing as he walks down the hallway. He knows it's her. His steps are quiet but he keeps moving towards her. In his head he already knows what he will see and he is not surprised when he turns the corner. He frowns as he takes in her hunched form. Caitlin's shoulders are heaving and she is sobbing uncontrollably. On his wrist he feels his watch vibrate. He'd silenced the notification weeks ago because he had been sick of the damn thing lighting up every time Cisco hounded him or Barry sped into the lab. He is not surprised when it vibrates in Caitlin's proximity. His daughter is a speedster after one exposure to the particle accelerator. Caitlin had a doppelganger on Earth-2 with powers and Jay had insisted that Caitlin would as well. And she'd been hit twice. He is stilled for a moment by the thought that everything that has happened to this woman has been wildly unfair. He is suddenly angry at Barry and the speedsters' continual alteration of the timeline. And he wonders which of them has actually suffered more. Wells knows that Caitlin at least, is not done suffering. He moves.

He folds his long limbs down and drops to the concrete floor beside Caitlin with a soft sigh. She doesn't acknowledge him. Her breaths are ragged and she has her head in her hands. He sees her entire body tremble uncontrollably. He wonders if she's cold.

"Show me" His voice is a rough whisper.

She doesn't move, doesnt indicate that she hears him.

"Snow, show me."

She is trembling so hard now that he knows she is either almost out of tears or she is going to break completely. Her sobs are slient and she is trying to breathe. Without hesitation, Harrison takes her chin in his hand and pulls her face towards his. Her skin is hot under his touch and her eyes are full of fear.

"Caitlin, please. Trust me." He smooths his hand down her neck to rest his finger tips against her heart. He can feel it beating wildily under her shirt and he reaches his other hand to push her hair back behind her ear. "Everything is going to be all right. I promise you. Show me."

So she does.

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The lab is quiet for once, everyone else is occupied with their own lives. Harrison and Caitlin are sitting together on a sofa in the labs impressive rec room. They are touching. Every now and then Harrison will run his fingertips up and down her arm. He smiles when he feels her shudder and inhale sharply. Her eyes close involuntarily. She has not allowed anyone to touch her in weeks. Except him. They have revealed her powers to the others. The fear was expected. They'd all seen or heard about Killer Frost and the havoc she wrought. They couldn't not look at Caitlin and see her behind those eyes. That had lasted about as long as it took for Harrison to close the distance between himself and Barry, and knock the speedster on his ass with a punch.

 _"This is your fault, you selfish bastard! Everyone here has paid the price for helping you Barry. For loving you. And they've all suffered selfelessly. And they've never asked for a thing! Everyone here has lost something for you and never even batted and eye. But you. You couldn't handle the pain and you decided to run away without even thinking about the consequences." Joe had pulled Harry back and was holding him while he screamed at the man on the floor. The rest of them just looked on, too stunned to do anything.  
"You have the most faithful, amazing, caring friend in that woman over there. She stood by you through everything. She had faith in me and trusted me when she had every reason not to. She has never once asked anyone to suffer for her and has never complained about what has happened. Don't you dare turn your backs on her now, not when she needs you!" He was furious. He could feel his hands shaking and went to shake Joe off when he felt her hand on his back. When he turned to face her, she offered him a smile and ducked her head. Without hesitating he took her hand in his and turned back to face the rest of them, daring anyone to speak._

 _"Caitlin I...I'm so sorry. " Barry's voice was quiet, and pained. He picked himself up from the floor and held his hands up. Harrison eyed him warily until he felt Caitlin squeeze his hand and move to stand beside him._

 _"Barry, I've never been anything but a good friend to you. To any of you. And we've all lost a lot. But, we've all gained more than we could ever lose. I don't want to lose anyone else that I love. And I'm not going to lose myself to whatever darkness Hunter thought he saw in me. How could I do that, when I have all of you?"_

 _Harrison is as proud of her as he has ever been of anything. He feels her skin against his fingers, notes that it's only slightly cooler than his, and knows that she is telling the truth. Everything is going to be fine._

They're sitting on the sofa, touching. He's been working on this with her. He's the only one that can tolerate her touch, even in the early stages of the changes that are happening to her. Cisco has discovered that it is because he is from Earth-2 and he resonates on a higher frequency. If she had been the Killer Frost from his world, he's be dead. It took him weeks to convince her of that. That she was safe. That he wasn't afraid of her.

In the months that have followed the Flashpoint, he has seen his daughter blossom and grow into something he never imagined. And he is able to stop worrying about her. (Mostly)  
Caitlin sometimes teases him that her 'problem' came along just in time, so he'd have something new to worry about. He tells her he is not worried, that they will solve it together.

He smiles and kisses her forehead and she sighs into his chest and lets herself be held.

Everything is going to be okay.

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The End 


End file.
